Rockin’ Moms- Mary Gardner

I am very excited to begin a new feature on our blog called “Rockin’ Moms” !  These are women who have not only been touched by Special Needs & Disabilities, but been able to inspire so many others by not only the way they live but what they have been able to accomplish.  Our 1st mom that we are highlighting is a not only an amazing person, mother, wife, professional, writer, leader of the area SPD support group AND currently auditioning for a new show on Oprah’s OWN network, but she’s also become a very good friend- Winter Park’s own Mary Gardner.

What can others learn from my story (to see something for themselves)?

My story of discovery that my child was on the autism spectrum was long and arduous. I would hope that any families who suspect that their kids have problems and their doctors tell them they are just overprotective, that they go to a specialist to get a diagnosis so they know what they’re dealing with. Additionally, I’ve since learned that no matter what health problem, emotional, developmental problem we have, that FOOD can help or HARM us. SOOO many of us have food allergies to the typical American food like wheat and dairy and it comes out in so many forms from Autism to bipolar to ADHD and disease.  The big food companies provide good tasting food at low cost, however, the ingredients bring us no nutrients and often are harming us without us knowing.  It takes time to do a little investigating and learning about our own special systems and those of our children.

What can I share that everyone can relate to?

I can share that I always had high expectations for everything that I wanted to do and that included having multiple kids and traveling the world and being a model citizen. Well, I’ve heard how God often laughs in the face of our plans.. because that isn’t how it happened for us at all.  I had no idea I’d have a preemie baby, that was 12 weeks early, and no idea that the aggressive and active baby that we had turned out to have ADHD and was diagnosed on the Autism spectrum.  I had no idea how to handle him or his diagnosis and there wasn’t one place for me to go to get answers.  I tried all of the traditional medicine with minimal help, and finally turned to alternative and found the help I needed through many therapists and alternative docs. It’s taken a long time, and it’s been a long road, but in light of the struggles, we’ve all become better people, and grateful that we can now shed light on others struggles.

If I were sitting in front of the next leaders of the world, what do they need to know that will help them lead our planet?  (what are your life lessons?)

I would challenge them to look in the eyes of the little ones who are suffering from the millions of allergies, asthma, autism and ADHD and disease and see that their parents are suffering from not knowing what to do. If I could talk with the people who poison our food and water supply with pesticides and preservatives, and millions of unnecessary medicines they allow to be dished out…

I’d ask them to sit in front of an audience of people and eat the food we eat and drink the water we drink for the next 5 years and then we’ll do a biomedical test on their body to see how healthy they are. I’d like them to look in the eyes of the parents who are losing children to cancer and tell them, “NO, there wasn’t really anything I could do because our company really needed to make money and we had to answer to the board of directors”.  I’d ask them to give grants to expert alternative doctors to study supplements and to give subsidies to the farmers who are going all organic and to make our food supply more affordable and more healthy.  I’d ask them to hold major corporations accountable and that food can be just as dangerous as cigarettes and that we should have the big companies educate the people through the media of eating well.

Overall – I want you to share about your personal drivers or philosophies that have you to do the many things you do…your life message to others…this is your chance!

Like all of us, I’ve continued to evolve as a person, as a wife and as a mother. I’ve not always been the best at any at once, but I’ve gotten better and continue to do so because I’ve continued to learn.  There is SO much learning to be a successful human being in our world. There is just SO much to know.

I do have strong ambitions in life and have worked hard to remain hopeful that we’ll be able to have a life where we excel.  I’ve found that on my own, I’ll just crumble into pieces which I proved to myself over and over. But, when I collaborate with others, share with others, and work with others, then I have a better chance of succeeding.

I’ve learned that each of us has something special to give to others, and that each of us wants to be acknowledged for what we bring to the table. I’ve learned that there is no place for ego, because we’re all great, and we all have a bit of not so great in us.  We’re all flawed, because we’re human and I am so grateful that I have a relationship with a God who is all forgiving.

I want continue to learn and to push myself to live as authentically and as joyfully as possible.. while maintaining a family and serving others.

If you were to be given 5 minutes with one living person on this planet, someone you’ve never spoken with and really want to speak with, who would it be and what would you talk about?

I would probably want to spend 5 minutes talking with an ambitious woman who is stuck somewhere in a middle eastern country who sees her people suffering , the women stifled, and witnessing the men who are free to punish the women and she still hasn’t given up hope. Or I’d be with a young mom working 3 jobs with a bunch of kids with “issues” and  stuck in the middle of our country with no good food and want to know how in the heck she’s planning on feeding them, educating them and making sure they grow up safe.

There are so many women in depressed situations and living in abuse or terrible situations and I just don’t know how they survive every day without giving up.  How do they do it? Where do they get the strength? How can they go for so many years totally sacrificing themselves for others and losing their own health in the mean time.   And how to do they raise kids that excel beyond normal expectations. I think we’d find that most of these women would be serious prayer warriors!

If you were to do that (career, marriage, etc.) again, what would you change or do differently?

Oh great.. I have to look at all of the mistakes I’ve made!!! Well, I have made millions but at this point, age gives us wisdom and so I can honestly say that the millions of trials I’ve had where I brought pain upon myself or my family, has now made me a bit wiser overall.  None of us is perfect, but I do think we should focus in on our strengths and get HELP with our weaknesses.  As an outgoing social person, I should have NEVER worked entirely on my own, and going forward I will strive to be on teams of supportive people where everyone can thrive.   I would always give people the benefit of the doubt and realize that they’re doing the best they can at the moment… and that no one is perfect.. and that we all make mistakes and we shouldn’t be so hard on others.. or on ourselves. I’d realize that NOTHING is as important as our health and that stress and rushing does NO one any good, any time!  I’d let go of so many expectations I had and enjoy the ride more.  I’d play with more kids and love on more animals.  I’d trust that the hard times had a purpose and try to see the beauty in it because looking back.. I can see how it all had benefit.

I just have to say.. I’m glad I finally woke up and realized.. I’ll never know it all… but through Christ.. I’ll have all I need!

If your life story were made into a movie, who would play YOU?

Elizabeth Shue.. of course. J   (Adventures of Babysitting, Cocktail)

What do you still want to achieve in your life that you haven’t done yet?

I want to win the Oprah’s New Host position and host my own national TV show! I have a show concept that I believe will help our country and the world at large.

Do you consider yourself a dreamer or a doer?

I have a little of both. I have a lot of dreamer in me.. and I still have dozens of dreams that I haven’t accomplished yet. But I have to also say, I am a doer too. I’ve been able to accomplish a lot of fun things that I wanted to like running my first marathon this year, traveling the country as a speaker, and doing a lot of local and national TV, and I have been able to create a life where I have so many amazing friends and family in my life.. and for that, I’m eternally grateful!  It doesn’t all happen at once.. it happens over time.. and the journey is the fun part!

What lesson can you share with others that will make a difference in their life today?

Get off of gluten and diary as your main substances for eating.  They’re hurting our health as a nation and are among the top allergens besides soy, corn and peanuts and I have to add another: SUGAR!!! .  Don’t think for a minute that those little things we see as treats aren’t hurting us. Every single one of them are building up in our systems.. and are creating mental or physical stress on our bodies.. and that you have to STUDY to learn about health.. ..because you’re NOT going to learn about it on TV, in the media or through your doctors. You have to study.. and ultimately, you’ll go into preventative/alternative health if you want to live healthy in our society!

Who is your hero?

My son is my hero. For years, he was forced to up with my uneducated American way of life and suffered as a result. Now, he’s totally gluten/casein free, takes about 15 supplements a day including drinking blue green algae, and is the healthiest person I know. He’s the most compassionate and loving… and now we’re unraveling our habits from being a family that tried to do it all.  He’s still recovering from some “issues” , but I realize that we still have more to learn and that we’ll practice it together as a family.  We’ll continue to pray as a family for his and our.. complete healing.

At the end of the day, just before you doze off to sleep, what are the things on your mind?

OMGosh.. this feels so good to lay down.. whew.. what a day~~ !!!  But.. wow.. I didn’t get it all done!! I still have… to improve on my job,  clean the house, do the laundry and yard, water the garden,  pray  for friends and family, am I working out in the morning??? Oh yah.. I better text my running partners.., and how am I going to lose this weight??? And why is my friends husband treating her that way???, And why does that mom put her kids on meds when she could be doing supplements?   Is my child happy?  Did I spend enough time with him today? Will he think I love him enough?  Is my husband happy?  Did I work as hard as he did today and did I thank him for helping us so much??  How can I make our family work better? I probably didn’t cook that well that week so what can I cook next week? How are my  family members? How are their kids?  I need to send graduation gifts.. I wonder if they’ve noticed.. I gotta make more money… .. Oh yah, I forgot to sign up for the swim meet. I hope it’s not too late.. and what about summer camp.. which one should we do?? And  Oh.. thank goodness for my friend Patsy for helping me to remember to buy teachers gifts.. and did they like them?   And thank you God that I got through another day! Wow, that church service was good.. I wonder how the pastor learned all of that and could I ever measure up to it? Actually, it wasn’t that hard.. just connect with God over and over through the day.. that’s not that hard… and   I thought he was funny! I wish I could be that funny in front of an audience. Oh yah..we’re all on our own paths and God has a purpose for me still.  Thinking of purpose.. I’m so happy I’ve got some great opportunities before me.. I am so excited about my new job opportunity, and I love my TV concept for the Oprah show.. and thank you for giving me the idea.. and.. Lord.. please use me.. use my life… and  thank yo………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

What’s next for you in life?

I have a book called BLESSED CHAOS! A Family Journey in ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, Frustration Faith and Food that is available through www.blessedchaos.com It’s in raw form right now, but we’re selling it to families who need a guide of how to heal their own families from the childhood epidemics.. and who want to know the crazy struggle of what it’s like living there.   So many people are ready to HEAL their symptoms and not just manage them through medications. I’ve found we’re all different, and we’re all a puzzle and learning about solutions and then paying for them all take time.. but it can be done and in the mean time, you learn a whole heck of a lot about patience, about managing struggles in life and you grow a lot of compassion for others who are on their own journeys.

What is your motto for life? (you can share a quote you like, or make your own up)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!  Phil. 4:13

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For the past 4 years, Mary Gardner has traveled the country as a Lifestyle Consultant, and has appeared on the top news programs for every major TV network. The founder of The Coaches Certification Institute, she currently does lifestyle coaching segments for WESH TV in Orlando, FL and is a regular columnist for the Orlando Business Journal, a Hearst publication.

Mary’s passion and penchant for powerful communication techniques and style, along with her charismatic personality, have also made her a highly sought-after speaker and trainer with both corporate and collegiate audiences.

Personally, Mary is an avid swimmer, runner and athlete.  She is actively involved with a cause called Sensory Integration Disorder, and volunteers her time to numerous places including school and various charities.  Mary, her husband and their 8 year old son, reside in Winter Park, FL.